We all sleep, but do you know that the way you sleep, your sleep positions and your sleeping habits tell a lot about your relationship? Who you are as an individual?
Imagine yourself in bed, about to sleep. What position are you in with your partner?
Are you cuddling?
On opposite sides of the mattress?
So entangled that it’s hard to breathe?
The way you sleep can be a way to say, “I love you” “I trust you,” or, “I depend upon you.”
For example, if you sleep on your back, it means you are strong, silent type; and if you sleep on your stomach, it characteristically means you have an open, outgoing, and playful personality.
So, what happens when your sleep positions differ in one bed?
It’s actually fascinating.
While you are soundly sleeping, your subconscious mind takes over and commands your body. But your sleep positions reveal how you feel about your partner and yourself. According to relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet, “During sleep, you cannot fake your body language. This is the time when you are honest, vulnerable and your sleeping position can reveal a lot about your relationship.”
“Because your subconscious mind controls the way you sleep with your partner, sleep body language can be an amazingly accurate way to assess what’s going on in your relationship — even if you can’t or don’t articulate those things while you’re awake”, says Patti Wood, a body language expert with more than 30 years of experience and author of Success Signals, A Guide to Reading Body Language.
So have a look at these sleep positions to get a clue to your relationship with your partner.
Table of Contents
11 Sleep Positions that tell about your Relationship
Here, we have collected information from scientists, psychologists, therapists and relationship counselors to interpret what 11 different partner sleep positions mean.
1. The Spoon
Image Credits: Indiatimes.com
Spoon is one of the most common sleep positions among couples in the first few years of a relationship or marriage. This is indicative of trust and an intimate level of comfortableness. This position is when one bed mate curves his or her body around the backside of the other person and they’re virtually touching from top to bottom. The Spoon provides the maximum contact with your partner, ensuring physical closeness. It’s not necessarily erotic, instead, it’s “a comforting, safe cocoon,” says Shirley P. Glass, psychologist and martial therapist.
What it means: I trust you
2. The Loose Spoon
In loose spooning your partner is still very protective about you, but at the same time also wants to sleep more comfortably. So in this position there is a slight gap between the bodies instead of that intense coverage. The couple remains close in this position by touching hands, feet or knees. This position comes later in a relationship, usually five or six years into it, Wood explains. New couples tend to have the most physical contact in bed, but when the novelty of bed-sharing wears off, it’s common to revert to the positions that make you feel most comfortable and produce the best quality sleep, says Paul Rosenblatt, author of Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing.
What it means: I’ve got your back
3. The Chasing Spoon
Image Credits: Expertrain
Though it may look like a standard Spoon, the Chasing Spoon is usually a little lopsided: one person has moved away from the center of the bed, and the other ‘chases’ to physically reconnect. According to Sleep Positions: The Night Language of the Body, the Chasing Spoon could simply mean that one partner wants more space in the bed. The other less literal interpretation is that the partner doing the drifting wants to be pursued.
What it means: I am very possessive about you
4. The Unraveling Knot
Here, couples start out in the intimate position, but once they are relaxed and slip into a slumber, they unravel their limbs. It actually shows signs of a strong relationship, one where the couple begins together, but then confidently stretches out into their own space. Dr. Sweet says it’s a “compromise between intimacy and independence, allowing for the best of both worlds,” though only about 8% of couples favour this position.
What it means: I love you but I also love my sleep.
5. The Royal Hug
Image Credits: ScoopPick.com
This sweet face-up sleeping position indicates confidence and self-assurance. The woman usually rests her head on the man’s chest or shoulder. Wood says that the person on his or her back while sleeping is “facing life.” If the man has his arms wrapped around the woman, it shows protectiveness. But if his hands are on top of his head like a crown or his elbows are out to the side like a royal cape, he’s not only showing his confidence, but indicating that he wants to be in charge.
If the woman is sleeping facing her partner in the fetal position, she’s subconsciously showing that she depends upon him and allows him to be in charge. Resting her head on his chest, but stretching out her body shows she wants to make decisions herself. In short, this sleep position reaffirms trust and confidence.
What it means: I am powerful to protect you. OR I depend on you
6. The Leg Hug
This is a position where only the legs of the couple touch and usually are intertwined or gently resting upon each other. This is a position that reveals an extreme level of comfortableness with each other, where a couple has been together for a long time. According to Wood, if your partner plays footsie with you in bed, or intertwines their legs with yours, it means they crave an emotional or sexual connection.
A pair of tangled legs is also a sign that the two of you can’t get enough of each other — even when you’re sleeping. “It means your lives are intertwined, that you function as a pair. You probably finish each other’s sentences and take care of each other,” Wood said.
What it means: I need you
7. The Back Kisser
Image Credits: Fadufeed
This position suggests you’re a confident couple that appreciates your own space. The facing away from each other hints at the ability and desire to be independent, while the butt touch shows you still want to stay sexually connected, Wood says. Chances are you’re a new couple who doesn’t yet have a reason for distrust OR have been together for a while, and are relaxed and comfortable with one another.
What it means: I love you and I love my space
8. The Liberty Lovers
Image Credits: ExploreLifeStyle
Another position which is more common with established couples is the Liberty Lovers – sleep back-to-back, but with space between them. So if you and your partner sleep facing opposite directions with space in-between – don’t fret! This is actually a good thing. Despite facing opposite directions and not touching, this position indicates that you are connected and secure. You can be close without touching, sharing a bed but independent. You’re the kind of couple that’s OK doing things alone, but can’t wait to be back together to share stories and recount your day. According to the study, 27% of couples prefer this sleeping style.
What it means: I am close to you
9. The Tangle
Ah, young love! If you favour the Tangle, chances are you are in a fairly new relationship and can’t bear to be separated. It’s an incredibly intimate position that means you can’t get enough of each other. It tends to happen when there is either intense emotions at play (like after lovemaking) or at the start of a romantic relationship. Some couples maintain it throughout their relationship but it isn’t a good thing. It shows that you are too dependent on each other to sleep apart.
What it means: I can’t get enough of you
10. The Stomach Snoozer
A couple that sleeps on their stomachs might want to think about having a conversation. Sleeping face-down protects the front of the body. The Stomach Snoozer position indicates signs of anxiety, emotional fear, vulnerability and lack of sexual trust. The best solution is to talk it out and cosy up.
What it means: I don’t want to face it. OR I am very anxious
11. The Space Hog
If your partner spreads out with little regard to where you are in the bed, it might is time to question the relationship. The Space Hog, as the name indicates, spreads him or herself out in bed, taking up all the space and is selfish and has little regard for your needs. If one partner dominates the bed, it means he or she also dominates the relationship, relegating the partner to a secondary, submissive role.
What it means: I am powerful
What looks closest to the way you cuddle up or don’t cuddle up at night?
Nice post, Sonal 😉
It was fun to read this post and it goes without saying much-needed information.
Keep up the good work!
Hi Leena
Thanks fro stopping by and your wonderful feedback!
Have a nice day1
Hi Sonal,
Nice Revealing Post!
I didn’t know that our sleeping habits tell about our relationship.
I sleep on my back.
The logic given by you about the way we sleep with our partner is undeniable.
My sleep position with my partner is the spoon. It’s good to know that it’s a symbol of trust.
I will tweet your post.
Thanks a lot for sharing.
Hi Manish
Glad to know that you liked the post and was able to identify your position and your relationship.
Have a nice day!
Hi Sonal,
Fascinating reading. I’ve been married for nearly 45 years and with the exception of the Stomach Snoozer, any given night could find us in any one of the sleep positions you’ve described here. Fun post, thanks,
Edward
Edward Thorpe recently posted…Why Smart People Do Dumb Things
Hey Edward
Great to know that you enjoyed it!
Hi Sonal, Wonderful post about different sleeping positions. Thanks for sharing
sazia kazia recently posted…Top 25 Natural Beauty Tips For Any Type of Skin Care
Hi Sazia
Glad to know that you liked it!
nice to know so much about sleeping positions
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi Sonal !
Really amazing , Thanks to know about sleeping positions you’ve described here.
Mary Sara recently posted…Energy Wars : Green Revolution
Hi Mary
Thanks for stopping by.
glad that you liked it.
hello
i have listen from my family doctor that we should sleep
straight but i sleep to right position is it ok
Emalia recently posted…Top 5 Facetime Alternatives For Android
Hi Emalia
I guess you should go by what your doctor says. There must be some reason for which he recommended you to sleep in a particular position.
Hey Sonal! What a fun post! I to had no idea that the position that we sleep has any bearing to our relationships! I do tend to sleep on my back as well as #8. The Liberty Lovers HEHE
Great Share
Thanks
Chery :))
Hi Chery
I hope you enjoyed reading it!
It is funny that every position has a positive spin. Apparently we are very confident in our relationship and also really like our sleep.
Elise Cohen Ho recently posted…The 15th Tip Link Up Has Arrived
Hi Elise
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your feedback!
Interesting article, thanks for sharing. Insightful and well written.
Sharon T McLaughlin MD FACS recently posted…Strength Training Science
Thanks for stopping by Sharon!
Hi Sonal,
I sleep alone by choice 🙂
But I was interested in what you say about sleeping on your back vs stomach. By choice I sleep on my stomach, but my osteopath says I should sleep on my back and I have never slept so badly or felt as uncomfortable since trying to sleep on my back.
Joy Healey – Blogging After Dark
Joy Healey recently posted…PayPal Payment The Success Story
Hi Joy
Thanks for sharing your experience!
Hi Sonal,
After more than 20 years, my partner and I fit # 8 Liberty Lovers. With the exception of a dog that is between us and 4 cats in various locations on the bed. Enjoyed your article. We all sleep well. lol
Hi Kathryn
Glad that you enjoyed the post!