6 must-have Talks for a Healthy Sex Life

Every couple should know that the key to a better, thriving and healthy sex life is COMMUNICATION.

Nevertheless, it is not just communication, but a planned and constructed communication that makes a difference. To maintain proper bedroom behaviour and make your partner feel comfortable in that ambience is an art and is something which should not be taken with a carefree attitude.

No matter how honest and open people are in their relationships, when it comes to conversations about sex, most of the couples find it difficult. No one ever wants to be the first to unlock Pandora’s Box of sexual exploits. But as we all know that sex is a major part of every romantic relationship, having a conversation about sexual topics is very important to maintain a healthy sex life.

But why don’t people talk about it?

Why do they sweep things under the carpet?

The reason is that there are lots of myths associated with it such as “It’s not natural to talk about sex,” or “Sex is bad” or “Talking about sex takes the romance and mystery out of it.” As a result we feel scared and awkward to talk about it. These myths need to be busted.

It’s time to talk!

These must-have conversations are significant to maintain a fulfilling and healthy sex life. After reading the post you will also how to set the stage for intimate conversations that will bring you even more close and keep your sex life blooming.

6 must-have Talks for a Healthy Sex Life

These are the 6 most important talks that a couple must have in order to have a great healthy sex life.

1. Talk about Tests

Sex should be carefree, and the only way to achieve an ease of mind is that your body should be disease-free. “My rule of thumb is that as soon as you know there’s some kind of mutual attraction, have the conversation”, says Laura Berman, Ph.D., a New York Times best-selling sex and relationship expert. It’s important to discuss STD and HIV tests, and the date of your last test. Lead the way by sharing your background first, says Berman. Simply saying, “I’ve been tested since I slept with some one last—what about you?” keeps the conversation light and less threatening. What doesn’t need to be discussed? Your “number,” says Berman. “All it does is creating insecurities.” Whether you’ve been one other person or 100 people, a clean bill of health and a history of making safe decisions about your body are most important.

2. Talk about Turn-ons and Turn-offs

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We are not born with a manual that will tell us how to turn on our partner. I know discussing what gets you going and what turns you off is a bit difficult, but it is important. Knowing what makes one hot with desire or as cold as ice are necessary triggers to know your partner. Berman advices that talking about all your ‘down-and-dirty dislikes and likes’ in the bedroom will make your partner know what to do and what not to do that will make the two of you get the desired result at the end of the day. “Say, ‘I really love having sex with you, and I’d love to try this.’ Offering an alternative that might work better allows you to share a turn-on while also airing a turn-off,” says Andrea Syrtash, author of Cheat on Your Husband (With Your Husband).

Recommended: 14 Best Tips on How to Last Longer, Make Her Scream and Be the Best Lover in Her Life

3. Talk about Frequency

When it comes to the frequency at which you get freaky, you don’t need to be on the same line but you do need to be on the same page, says Berman. What that means: “If you want it every day and she wants it once a month, that’s going to be a problem.” As with everything else, compromise is the key. As unsexy as it sounds, try maintaining a sex schedule. It can give you the chance to grab props, get the shower steamy, or avoid unwanted interruptions. Berman suggests sharing an intimate sexual experience at least twice per week, but warns that there is no “magic number” that guarantees relationship bliss. Partners have to work together to find the frequency that makes them comfortable and maintains a healthy sex life.

4. Talk about Cheating

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What is cheating for me may not be cheating for you. So it is not black and white. So before a suspicion is raised about cheating, it is important to have a talk with your partner so that each of you knows what is regarded as unacceptable behaviour. Make a list of behaviours that you consider cheating.  For instance, Is befriending an ex ok? Is sexting cheating?  Is it ok to socialize with former “friends with benefits” on social media? Is casual flirting ok? These are just few things that you need to be discuss early in your relationship so that both of you are on the same level of understanding before moving ahead in the relationship.

Recommended: Secrets to Better Your Sex Life Now

5. Talk about Love Languages

When it comes to romantic love, we all give and receive it in different ways. Know what acts make your partner feel loved and appreciated, whether it’s as simple as holding hands or as steamy as sending sexy text messages, and make a point to do those things is tantamount to maintaining a healthy sex life, says Berman. According to Gary Chapman’s best-selling The 5 Love Languages, people give and receive romantic love in five different ways: gifts, quality time, words of affirmation or compliments, acts of service, and physical touch. Couples with different love languages can still completely satisfy each other as long as they both communicate what makes them feel most loved.

Berman suggests writing down three to five sentences that start with “I feel loved when…” and sharing them with each other. You can include everything from “when you hold my hand” or “when you initiate sex” to “when you do the laundry without being asked.” Also take notice of how your partner treats you when they’re being nice, says Berman. Do they compliment you? “We tend to love others in the way we most like to be loved,” says Berman. “But model your actions after theirs and you’ll probably be on target.”

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6. Talk about Sexual Evolution

With time, people’s preferences and desires change, so it is important to have a talk about modifications in sexual interests. “Our wants and needs evolve and what does it for you while dating or during your first year of marriage may not hold true in ten years,” says Syrtash. Evolution is a natural process, so one’s sexual nature also progresses with time. Talk with each other every few months to discover what changes may have taken place, and implement those practices into sexual experiences going forward.  Change is a great thing, particularly when it leads to better intimacy and experience.

Steps to start Talks for a Healthy Sex Life

Here are few steps to start talking your way to a better relationship and healthy sex life. Whether the talk is about sex or about your daily work is not important; it is how you say it that really matters.

• Learn to calm and relax yourself
• Be nonjudgmental
• Use positive “I” language
• Avoid blaming and pointing the finger.
• Touch while talking
• Give compliments
• Employ active listening skills

Talk your way to a healthy sex life!